My next post will be about another failed attempt at dating and finding a “partner”.
I’ve always had this rush to find my “soulmate”. The logic being [the sooner I find him, the more memories we’ll share together & the more journeys we’ll travel together”.
but the older I get the more I realise that it’s not about the journey, nor about the pleasures of life. It’s a disposition brought forth by my fear of being alone. And I am alone. So lonely in this meaningless darkness we call life!
whether it’s the rejection after dates, the various holes my dick penetrates, or the grey hairs on my chest and in my beard that remind me of the passing seconds of my life that are empty and meaningless.
It’s ironic that it’s all a circle. I feel like the rejection is due to this whole disposition scaring away these feable humans.Why is it that I have mot found my dragon yet?
Almost 30 years old and 30 times more lonely. Perhaps soon I will find my destined or I will forever forsake this notion of love and rid myself of this childish emotions.